By Jove!

* What if the internet there sucks? I have become so used to this high speed connection now. What about the Gas Cylinder arrangements? Why does the world not have piped gas everywhere already? Oh wait. Safety might be an issue. Should I really upgrade my stove? What did the guy mean the 'nipple' on the stove is ruined and it will cost a trillion rupees to fix? Was he for real? Should I pack for the packers? Like people clean up the house before the cleaning lady comes

* Should I stock up on my favourite brands of food and shampoo and so on? Should I get my hair cut? Do they still have weird rules there about hair cuts (and 'eyebrow hair cuts' as the monster calls them) on Tuesdays? Will I manage to not HATE that sort of thing? What is Korean grass? Why should I not get ordinary grass? Is it North or South? I am okay with the latter. How do I say that in Tamizh? How do I say 'Compost Pit' in Tamizh?

* Will really, this Learn Tamil in 30 days book help or hurt? There is such a chasm between a bookish knowledge of a language and the ability to confidently hold forth in it so all the various gardener-contractor-gas cylinder service person-auto driver etc. don't smile into their moustache when you speak. Anyway I can now write the vowels. The monster was unimpressed. Ha! I will see how long she takes to learn them once school starts. Wait! Why am I competing with a five year old in this?

* I am determined to get a land line phone. But just not this month. In June. I will desperately need a maid too. They speak that twangy Tamil though oh god! They will think I am some young person. Must make sure to tell them my age first of all, will they ask for proof? Should I bring my mom in to deal with them? Will they make eyes if they see me expertly pouring a beer (well, this I don't at the core care about).

* Gate pass! They won't allow the truck out of here without a gate pass! Wonder if they will turn this around in a single day. Heck! Why not? We carry lab equipment out on a whim don't we. But this is an entire household. Why are we moving so much stuff anyway? Damn that Marquez. I have a vision that whatever I leave here will be demolished by ants in no time at all. Dammit. I remember our storage space in New York, we left things in there for eons and nothing happened (except the mattress got ruined completely due to gravity).

* Speaking of gravity, why do my breasts hurt. Nothing alarming I suppose. But it might be indicative of it being that time of the month. Please not now. Back off you. Hang around for a couple of weeks more. Ruin my US trip if you like. Thank heavens I am all stocked up so I can have 'A Happy Period.' (The person who came up with that line, if you are reading this, please yaar, cut me a break. There is no such thing. Or is there?

* Will my favourite Jogeshwari Bhaiyya, deliver my table in time? Okay its Oshiwara. But I love the guy. My pet book shelf, that tiny chair of the monster, this old fashioned study desk I use as a computer table, I like all these things he has given me, but most of all I like how humble, kind, and considerate he is. DONT tell me he charges more than he should, I don't care, he is a nice guy. But I hope he gets the table to me in time. To match the chair, you see. So she can learn her Tamil alphabet (and ha! lets see how long she takes, the monkey) sitting at it.

* Hells Bells woman. Go move the toy boxes into the back room and check whether the washing machine exploded. Its 8:15. Meeting # 1 is at 10. # 2 at 11. Bank to be visited. Ten points to people who guess the rest of my list for the day.

The day breaks

My mind aches.

I need a drink. What is best for the mornings? Whiskey? (Must have whiskey).

Singh, More, Pandey, Vinod, the men in my life. Packer, washing machine locker, furniture dismantler (and his friend, who just stopped by).

Without further ado, here is a list of things a girl must do to stay sane in times like this:
1. Wear cotton clothes, stopping just short of wearing shorts to work
2. Eat most of the child's breakfast, herself
3. Dream of playing basketball at 5 pm
4. Listen to Dylan obsessively, in her mind and on the music system
5. Play Nazarein Milana and Jai Ho in a loop for the child
6. Make lists of things already accomplished, for the pleasure of striking something off
7. Watch Shah Rukh Khan 'act'
8. Send SMSes to the Milk Supplier, the Newspaper Fellow, and the Cable Guy with the short legs.
8. Get off the fucking internet already.

Cheers mates