Yeah well that is how the brain is functioning currently. Sleep is the missing factor, which I cannot remedy tonight as I (hold breath) have a class to attend tonight. And why not, I ask you. I can only attend if the husband reaches home in time for me to leave, so there is the possibility of reprieve. So it led me to think.
Suppose I had the parenting gig on during my graduate school days. How would I:
1. Wake up 7:00 am and catch the 7:15 am (first) bus to the university?
(like now I need two hours to get ready and get out of the house; and that is a stretch already)
2. Saunter over to the grad lounge for a coffee at 10:00 am; severe hunger pangs (despite eating 1 multivitamin tablet for breakfast)?
(i religiously eat breakfast now; but still feel hungry at 10 am)
3. Waste time after lunch watching the boys play warcraft?
(the boys are grown men with parenting duties of their own now. Gah.)
4. Suddenly realise that its 4 pm and time for the invited lecture (and DONUTS!)?
(thankfully, lectures do not imply donuts anymore. Cannot eat that stuff now)
5. Feel tired at 5 pm after the lecture (and DONUTS!) but force myself to slog it till 8 pm?
(ha! 5 pm means only 45 mins to go. Time to go online and browse!!)
6. Get home at 8:30 pm; throw all my stuff around everywhere, switch on re-run of Seinfeld, cook a horrendous meal of dal, rice, and veggies all together in the rice cooker?
(which is why we have a cook, and she made really fantastic stuff last night, with keerai from my own garden; and, TV is very rare now.)
7. Try very hard to read all the stuff I saved up to read over dinner, but finally,
(still doing this!)
8. Call husband (i.e. the other half of the gene pool) and talk in silences?
(still talking in silences, except without even bothering to call!)
9. Go to bed, mind all disturbed and asking myself the same question "Is there light at the end of the tunnel, really?"
(light was there; and it turned out to be just the entrance to the next tunnel. no problem, tomorrow, as my favourite fictional character is known to say, is another day).
Yeah, how would I do all those things. I dread to think. And I could not have quit, because, you know, I don't do that either. So, onward we move. Onward.
Its better this way. And, after all, I was recently asked if I graduated in 2009 (while in real fact, I graduated in 1995 from here), which means that all said and done the intervening years of: grad school; pregnancy & motherhood; meetings; interviews; breast feeding; conferences; are as if they never really happened, at least not to me.
Tghy THI agoo, to be sure.