where have you gone?

The magic is conspicuous by its absence today. The morning started all wrong. Actually this wrong morning started yesterday afternoon. With a severe case of prickly eyes. Tuesdays are somewhat calm days usually. Meaning that the monster has no after school activity. I figured I could use that time to catch up on some rest and sleep, cancelled a meeting and went home jubilantly.

The house was an unholy mess with the cupboard guy and the ac guys and a billion other dusty footed individuals traipsing in and out. My trusted home minister had to walk an hour in the sun for a ladder. Then an hour back again. (Yes, I admit that being able to smile after that is something remarkable and that in comparison my pissiness is ridiculous. I admit that).

It was nine pm by the time the individuals left. I had no appetite for dinner anymore! I am just too tired by dinner time these days. Having the monster in my room is driving me crazy! She has every single stuffed animal she possesses arranged on my bed. These are still better than games which have small parts. I really have to hold on to the thought that, whatever it is, it is better than those kids who wear squeaky shoes and walk around. I guess the parents are to blame for that, but nevertheless. I found myself making the monster promise that she would NOT get those shoes for her child. 'Are the shoes with lights okay amma?' she asked. I know, all very cute and all, but not when you find pieces of bananagrams (or similar) under your ass at 3 am as you grope for your phone, and you know exactly who to blame.

Which brings me to men. I like men. Most times, I like them better than I like women. Less complicated. Less intricate the connection between various things in their brain. More open to new ideas. Better company by far for drinking beer and swearing. If they are brainy as well, I like them even more, because then you can make brainy jokes. Or they can make brainy jokes and I can laugh. With women its all about emotions and how one feels about things rather than what those things are, swearing is kept at a minimal level, and wine (which I cannot absolutely stand unfortunately) and cheese and nice things like that. These things have their place too, of course.

But the thing that drives me up the wall is that for men, its always about the BIG things. Life changing experiences. Huge fucking moves. The giant-ass picture of the earth in their head. Dreams of conquering the world. This is something impossible for me to deal with. I am ALL about the small things. The details. I live in the detail. Ask me and I will give you twenty bullet points. I think I do keep sight of the big picture (generally. right now, not so much). But I thrive on the details. I feel its a lot more sensible this way. After all, you have to work through the details to get to the pot at the end of the rainbow, right? The code, I like to fix the bug by going over it line by line. So I absolutely get irritated with the big talk. Especially now when I am in a very un-magical mood.

Yes, yes, I know these gender stereotypes are not necessarily accurate, I just have to look at myself to figure that out. But I still have a beef with the big talk. Today in particular... Oh heck. Let me go plod through paperwork. These are mere 'details' I know but I have to take care of them else they will explode in my face....