Dust

I fear dust. It has the ability to make everything look old, faded. My friend tells me that it has the ability to make the computer bow down and break down. I did not know that. I fear that. My life is in my computer. My computer is my life. But clearly I don't know how to take care of my life. I let dust play havoc, especially in the back of the computer table. I saw last night there are clumps of dust. They have agglomerated to form this monstrous looking ball. It is fluffy but scary looking nevertheless. Not fluffy like a teddy-bear or mommy's fur coat. My mommy does not have a fur coat. She does not need one, we live in Mumbai, India. Its hot here, and dusty.

Dust is on everything. I cant see the faces of the numerous gods I worship everyday. They are all covered in dust and grime. Their faces have turned black. When they were new, they shone like silver, probably cause they are silver. Now they have all turned black. Their features are indistinguishable so I cant figure out who to pray for what. For my exam grades I need Saraswathi, the goddess of learning; or Vinayaka, the elephant-headed one. For sorting my love affairs I prefer Krishna, the whimsical, playful one with the flute. For overall protection from stray dogs and other calamities I approach Rama, he must be in-charge of such serious things. Occasionally I dream up connections and need to pray to someone in particular for something in particular but nowadays it is hard as I cant distinguish any features anymore. Dust and grime are too strong.

My friends ask me sometimes about my computer, and about my gods. If marooned on a desert island, which of them would you rather have with you, they ask. I think they are teasing, I am not sure. I don't know the answer to that. How to get the ac power my computer needs, on an isolated desert island? But then, if my gods were with me, I could pray to them to get me power for my computer. But I don't know the answer to that. Perhaps it's a joke. But there the sand would be powerful. In a way, it is the same as dust. It is eternal.

I once saw a picture of a house in America, on television. It was real clean. It had a wooden floor, one room in our house has a wooden floor. Mommy says it's a fake floor. But she scolded me when I tried to break it open to see what is underneath. Anyway the American house did not have dust. It was gleaming and sparkling. The television was kept at low volume, not like our house. The tap and kitchen sink were also shining. No one had written their name in the dust on the window-sills. The curtains did not have an edge of black grime. They left a whole opened cake on the table for several hours and it did not get destroyed by ants and flies and dust and grime. It was amazing. I told mommy. She was angry. She said I must not watch such things. She said such a house did not have gods so was a bad house. I agree. I did not see even an old calendar with Vinayaka on the clean walls there. It must be bad there.

I tried to tell our maid-servant that she has to do a better job cleaning. She laughed for 15 minutes. This is Kali-Yug she said. You cant save anything now. I told her that I was worried about the gods. She laughed and said they could take care of themselves, don't worry. I took her to the puja room door (she could not enter as it is only for us). I showed her the black idols. She told me to tell mommy she would scrub them with tamarind to make the shine come back. I was very happy. She is so nice! I told mommy. She got angry again and said I must not permit maid-servants to touch the gods. I asked her why, she said they are impure. But mommy I said, she is the only one that cleans the house, she is the only chance again dust, how can she be impure? I was scared when I said that, mommy's nostrils flared up in anger. I ran away to my computer.

My friends laughed at me again. They said I was sure to lose my computer soon. I quickly tried to make copies of my files on a CD but the CD burner door was jammed. I pried it open and found a dust ball. I looked for a cloth to clean it, but the dusting cloth used for the TV cannot be used as it is touched by maid-servant. My computer is in the puja room. Only few things are allowed there. I like it there because I am close to both my computer and my gods. But it is too dusty. The CD burner does not work any more. There is a crunching noise when I put the CD in. I don't know who the god for computers is. I have to find out and pray to him or her. Perhaps it is Vinayaka again, he has a mouse.