Drive me crazy!

The weekend was great. In equal parts it had work, play, and a party. Oh yeah, I took a nap as well. Generally I don't do naps. If you know me in person you should be able to say that right off the bat, I don't exude that vibe, you know, a chilled out person capable of taking naps. No, not me. I am too excitable, and to top it all, am a worry wart.

Early sat morning I dissed the husband and child for delaying tactics (in waking up) and excitedly set off for my morning long run with Point Mass urf Guns. The last week's run was in an AMAZINGLY beautiful Kerala location. In fact, we made a weekend trip pretty much with the sole aim of running, and had a great run despite a nagging blister issue in my foot. This week, back in home environs, my aim was to really go for a long time and not pansy out. Next Sunday we run on the ECR (thats East Coast Road) - and mentally one wants to be prepared for that. Not to mention the fact that the Mumbai Half looms somewhat close and I cannot yet mentally cross the Peddar Road fly-over without palpitations. This Saturday, in our deer-filled campus, second wind and overall endorphin-induced euphoria happened. Sorry ludwig, I did, however miss you, if that is any comfort.

I missed the Sat evening basketball game though (18 KM followed by a good number of hours of work + a frustrating shopping session that I am trying to not think about was enough, and there was the party too later that night). The boys say they had a wonderful game. I suspiciously asked them if it was BECAUSE I did not join them or INSPITE of it. The response was annoyingly non-committal. So I went on Sunday night (wait, that was just last night) to the game, and I did think I rocked the game. I got majorly hazed by this older Navy dude we play with, but thankfully my husband did not choose to fight my fight or anything. Also, I wish I was bigger/stronger so I could block Navy Dude out better under the board, but hey, one cannot have everything. My new funda while playing ball is to get some good stretching done before hand. Amazingly, my lower body can stretch well whereas my torso is super stiff and I can barely bend it. I blame running for it. Though the fact that all my fingers are bent out of shape is solely due to basketball.

The party was fantastic, despite the guys going off on a major dumb charades trip (what are we - ten years old?). But really, it was cool. There were all these people yelling out the movie names like they lived-breathed-peed movies for a living, and then there were two of us geeks who had no clue about ANY of the movies and kept everyone on the wrong track by guessing some obscure (to them at least) book name based on the miming. Plus it was dark so it was hilarious when the clue-er would hold up two fingers and half the populace would say 'Three Words' !! The sea breeze was superb, the area completely devoid of traffic and spirits were particularly high and really, it was immense fun. It could be my middle age talking but restaurants are over-rated, we always have much more fun at each others homes.

Work! I know! I rarely work in the weekends. The last time I did was quite a while ago. I might on occasion check my email or something but that is about it. As I said to my husband, who demanded to know, I WANTED to work this weekend. I did manage to schedule it such that it was least disruptive to the family and friends and exercise regimen (I did have to miss one family function, but that apart...), at least as far as I could tell, so it was really nice. I got a bunch of things done, and was pretty excited about working today as well, despite it being a holiday in these parts. Sometimes days when I have a holiday and the monster does not are good..

And, oh, best of all! We have outputted one snake gourd (big one) and another big bunch of greens from the home garden. I cooked the snake gourd with a bunch of other things in one of my colourful subji things last night, and it tasted wonderful (even if I say so myself), and tonight my dear cook will address the greens in a yet-to-be-conceived dish. Last week we had a bunch of very small bitter gourds picked up, and of course, it was just my imagination that the stuff tasted sweet to my tongue. I sent a really tiny one to school for show and tell, it was shown but what was told about it is anyone's guess.

Last, but by no means the least, we come to the monster. Looked ridiculously cute in a green paavadai at the family function. Took a nap with me without undue fuss or behaving like a cockroach thrashing about in bed. Had a good party with little friends, ingesting small amount of food but being overall non-whiny and happy. Slept half-way through, hugging little friend. Enjoyed spending time with her grandparents. Practiced eating rice with her fingers, and, at some point yesterday declared that her mind had told her to be a good girl and therefore she was being such a one. When I immediately demanded to know, told me that she cannot assure anything about tomorrow. Well, at least she did not drive me crazy over the weekend, and we have all emerged stronger and ready to attack the week now.

Confusing the Improbable for the Impossible

Everyday life seems to be just that. One foot in front of the other. Believe. Believe that that is important. To just go on. That it is critical, to eat healthy, to not have the water tap on while brushing, to fill that bucket for your bath, to brush, to exercise, to wear cotton clothes, to eat fiber. To go our separate ways every morning, rushing through the routine. Believe that, at the end of the day, when we sit down and take stock and feel good about the day and look forward to the next, believe that it is these details that matter.

It is of course highly improbable that there are more terrorists among us. More young people with guns and grenades and whatever else ammunition. That they have a highly organised plan in place for the next round of this. That they have already established local links, developed spreadsheets of data on the target location and populace. Of course, it is not impossible. And that, unfortunately is the 'big picture' now. The opposite of the details.

It used to be the questions. What am I here on this earth for? What is my role as a mother, a producer of life, about? Is my life a happy one? In a spreading outward and inward sense, is it a good life? Am I compromising my morals, my ideals, my core beliefs? Are my relationships in order? Not very big questions, probably not questions a spiritual guru or acclaimed philosopher would spend any time on. But I am neither of those. Just an average person who wants to be good and happy, thinking about her very average life and compulsions.

I was in a reality show of a movie of sorts on a large ship, in my dream. I saw with my own eyes overly familiar buildings come crashing down, our neighborhood. I saw the grand canyon shift under me and change. That made really very limited sense, my dreams are usually very easy to understand, I have a simple mind I guess. Have not been to the G.C. in ages now, and when I did go it was not as if I fell in love with it or anything. Water levels were rising and rising some more. I woke up. Put both my hands out. For once glad of the sandwich of long limbs I sleep in.

Last night, I had a pile of clothes to iron. My homies were driving me nuts. One was on my case about paint and cartoons and water and cake. The other was watching a particularly appalling tamizh movie called Chatrapati (Satrapadi apparently). It was loud and involved particularly wanton violence. To get them out of my hair I tried to shoo them out of the house to crossword. They were almost out of the door (uff. finally) when suddenly I yelled at them to stop. What if something happens when they are out? Why separate the family unit when there is a choice? I switched the iron box off and went with them. It was tiring and loud in the store. We did not talk to each other (of course; we were busy with our books). But we were there within touching distance. It mattered.