Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Eat, Fatso!

One of my friends loves those episodes from the TV show where Monica is super fat. He insists that I am going to be like that sometime in the future. It used to scare me a bit when I was in my twenties. But after I was pregnant and had the child and then am what I am right now, it just sounds very funny! I am (reasonably) confident that I can never get that fat by just eating. But the reason he would say that all the time was this - I have a high rate of metabolism, and a small appetite. This means I am hungry often. He is a big huge monster of a guy (if you are reading this, you know I totally mean to mention the size of your jeans here, but because I am a nice girl, I am not. So there), and can survive on like one meal a day. So when we hang out, its like I am hungry all the time and he is just sitting there like a lump making fun of how all my eating will make me fat Monica fat some day....

In recent times, this metabolic rate problem is compounded by my running. If I run in the morning, which I do most days now, I am SUPER hungry through the day. That breakfast, lunch, evening snack - these things had better be forthcoming, or else... So now my colleagues are also making jokes about me. Because I bring a three tier lunch dabba carrier thing sometimes, and one of the tiers has a massive amount of curd rice in it.. (So sue me).

This past Sunday, with the food at the end in mind, a bunch of us signed up for one of those running things you hear about. The person who started it last year said that everyone will run from Chennai to Mahabalipuram - a distance of 50 km. People would finish at a resort there, clean up, eat the buffet breakfast, and his car would bring everyone back to base. Now, they did that last year and enjoyed it and decided to institutionalise it. But a few of us who are still a bit timid about that distance complained.

So here is what we did. We drove to the Uthandi toll booth and parked there. A handful of really super awesome nice folks brought their cars with gatorade and bananas and offered to 'crew' for us ingrates. They weren't going to run. I managed to find a blue coloured, 5 foot tall thing that turned out to be a bathroom (Indian style). Uff. Then we all started running the 30 km route from the toll booth to the Radisson place in Mahabalipuram.

For December, it became a super hot day once the sun came out (We started at 5:30 am; while the real men started at 3:30 am from Alwarpet). So when we all staggered into the Radisson and were garlanded (!) by the meeter-greeter lady there, we were dead. But it was still fun! Ice buckets for soaking the feet and tons of sweet nimbu paani happened. Shower. Then.. Ta..Da... BUFFET BREAKFAST!!

I pigged out on eggs, dosa, vada, chutneys, upma, juice, yogurt, coffee, and fruit. After every round I said 'The beast is not satiated' Finally, the beast was semi-satiated and I was afraid I might throw up in the car if I ate any more so I got up and squeezed into the car for our return trip back. The homies were watching TV so I pythoned out in front myself. Then I ate sambar rice and curd rice for lunch.

"Whats this Kenny?" my husband asked me later that day. It turned out to be the giant pot belly I had acquired from eating. "My lower abs" I assured him as I mentally swore to increase the intensity on my core workouts this week. Damn it, whats the point of running like a banshee if it will only make me fat Monica fat? Dammit. 

2 comments:

dipali said...

Trying to imagine you with a pot belly and failing miserably!

kbpm said...

but but I JUST ate 2 dosas and a boiled egg and am hungry now already! All this stuff has to go settle somewhere. Its not going in my ass, thats some consolation :(