Food, Dreams, etc.

Over the years we have pondered long over why the monster is as she is about eating. I have hidden away Dr. Spock because its so painful to read what he has to say, realise that I have tried that stuff, and been grossly unsuccessful at it. I recall snippets of conversations with non-desi mothers about the ridiculousness of the desi-mom, and cringe. Of course, bottom-lines out like this. I was (am) like that about food. Its just that my innate sense of duty & responsibility have forced me to change (a bit) in recent times. Also, once I felt like the kitchen was my own and married a man who loved the food I cook, things changed a bit mentally. I cannot blame her, much. Its clear. She has my very absurd relationship with food.  Except for a couple of quirks, which are from her father. The monster. Had to get the worst from both of us. Bloody damn genes, crossing, dna strands. Don't have any idea of how to optimise.

Despite that, last night, I think I was in what can only be termed 'food coma.' I ran a monstrously long run on Saturday. Usually, the craving to eat grossly unhealthy stuff post long run can be high. I managed to eat fairly well and clean all Saturday. I even just sipped on a single, small, solitary beer and left the spirits portion of my unhealthy eating, at that. Likewise Sunday lunch. Homemade, not even super spicy. So, last night when we went to Cream Center, it was like I had to make up for all that. Chana Bhatura as big as the sun, anyone? With little bit of help from others, I managed to eat it, gulp down my iced tea (damn them for adding sugar in it... thats just nasty, folks...). Huge sigh of relief when we returned home and I changed into loose clothes!

Went to bed still a bit in that comatose state. I remember groaning a bit. Damn, its rare that I do such things. I mean, feel bad when I lie down to sleep because of food? Ugh. I had worn a sari, and jewelry as we had to go someplace that required me to look decent, before the dinner thing. Post a very hurried Kenpo (thats some sort of cardio kick-boxing thing) workout, I showered, put on my sari and some random bits of jewelry, and we took off. It was as usual a big tearing hurry. Plus, I was thinking about grad school because of my last blog post, and so on. So, thence, I guess the dream.

I was wearing a yellow-ish sari. I was in Massachusetts, probably Amherst. The sari was troubling me a lot (as was the blue one I wore last night). The reason was that the fit of the blouse was incorrect (which was the problem last night as well). And yes, don't tell me that its because of the increased running mileage. I am in denial about the fact that I might lose some weight/inches as I train for the big'un in January. Denial. I decided to fix the sari by going into a bathroom (only in the dream. In reality, the monster wanted to pee so I took her, and left my sari alone, despite the temptation to tinker with it). I went in the (dream) bathroom and it was the one in my office in Amherst, more or less. By this time my sari was really troublesome, but I decided I needed to pee first. I went in and found that all the stalls were missing toilet paper. I vaguely presume that this is based on my feeling that all the economy falling thingammijig is going to affect me in this manner. By the lack of T.P. in public restrooms (!). Anyway, I cursed. The economy. The University Admin for this cost-cutting measure. The public since one of the stalls was naaaasssstyyy. The sari as I could not fix it too well and had to deal with the poofy bits on the sides which I hate. My body for looking too thin in the mirror after I was done...  (the monster did not exist as yet, the year the dream was set in, else, I could have blamed her for something at least. the monster, who has the day off from school today because of the rain (!)...)