Monday, 26 October 2009

Mind Your Language!

I am pretty cool with languages. Of course, I have several pet peeves. I dislike people spelling loose as lose (or vice versa). I am not particularly fond of Americanised spellings. Or saying AlumiNUM when its Aluminium, and an element. Or, for that matter, intregal when its integral. Not to mention Nucelar for Nuclear. Inventing words, like Irregardless. Making verbs out of nouns (latest e.g. Bucketise; Previous hate, Guesstimate). Okay, so this list is growing and I get irritated easily. Guess that is the truth. I am NOT cool.

Nevertheless, I am conversant in Hindi, Kannada, Tamil and English, and would be able to deal with you (without holding it against you or being uppity about it, I think) if you spoke only one of those languages. I realise I am not great at any of them, thanks to the mish-mash-ness that has been my life so far, but I can handle it. And have. Though I only do Math in English.

What I cannot handle though is when you try to sell me insurance, or a health plan, or offer me a loan, or want me to move my balances on my other credit cards over to you, or want me to hook myself up with a second phone connection (Free!), apply for a new credit card (Rs. 5000 per year Only! Platinum membership!), buy 10 kilos of Encyclopedias, and so on, and are particularly insistent on the whole thing, call me at work at 10 am when I am right in the middle of some thoughts on somethings, and then insist on only talking to me in Hindi. That drives me insane. So, please, if you WANT to sell me something, don't:

(a) Call me at work
(b) Call me at home
(c) Call me
(d) Call
(e) At all
(f) Especially if you feel like talking in Hindi.

K?

(Yeah, Yeah, I understand, they have numbers to report, things to sell, salaries to earn, families to support, etc. etc., their grasp of the Queen's tongue is not up to par, and they are just doing their job so stop being so high maintenance already. But still, they are calling me at work and don't even know my name and are not listening to me at all when I tell them I am in a meeting and no, they cannot call me back today, tomorrow, or ever. Fine, so think of me what you will, I am a horrid person who ought to be made to watch Shah Rukh Khan movies in a loop as punishment and to recognise that I should be more open minded towards people who insist on speaking in strange manners, fine fine).

18 comments:

Airspy said...

just wondering..do you still live at the old telephone numbers/email ids or have you acquired new TN based ones. Send them to me at once! Would like to show off my language skills..java, c# and such...

kbpm said...

SpyMaami- Mobile still works. See I am sending you a message, as in SMS, as in Text.

Airspy said...

Aah.. i see! I will forward your number to Vodafone who have excellent multi language skilled call center folks and would love to have a conversation with you.

ChoxBox said...

aah the airpsy still is around!! i thought she was busy gymming ;)

and what? there is someone who can speak hindi in chennai?! finally!

kbpm said...

chox- airspy point is that i have a mumbai number still, thus therefore they must be allowed to blather at me. my counter is, so what? even at 10 am in mumbai, i would not tolerate it. No. HMPH>

Perakath said...

Preponed. I hate that. But I feel like an idiot when I say 'ante-dated' and have to explain myself.

SrgntPepper said...

my language skills aren't anywhere as honed as yours, so maybe my indignation is not justified. yet, i get pissed off at some of the exact same things. So here are some of my pet peeves

#1 The @ in an email address being called 'at the rate of'. NO, I am nothing "AT THE RATE OF" gmail.com!!!! WTF?

#2 The inability to comprehend the difference between for and since. eg, I have been waiting since two days.

#3 the car was traveling a very high rate of speed before the crash.

maybe you should start a list.

kbpm said...

SrgntPepper- Yes, yes, at the rate of. I have begun to say that because otherwise people act dumb. EyeDeeOts.

Perakath- OH! YES! That is definitely the last, but by no means the least!! PREPONED. Right up there along with the pronouncing of the 'h' in Honest.

wordjunkie said...

For creating 'mish-mash-ness' you fully deserve to see Salman Khan (post hair weave) movies in loop.

csm said...

what about "is it all in small letters?" when you give out an email id...

asaaan said...

when we were in India last year and I got a SMS card(side note why I had to get a sms for the 5 weeks I was there and have no friends who will call me is beyond me)
Anyways, the sms card was in my fil's name, he was going to use it after I was gone. So I would get calls asking for my feedback or wanting to upgrade some mins or some shit like that

And they always spoke in Hindi and of course you know my Hindi.So I always spoke in English and then I wouldnt understand and throw the phone at my fil. And then they would ask who am I and why am I in that house and why dont I speak Hindi.
basically there is no point in this entire comment.

Singaporeans have more screwed up english than Indians

Average Jane said...

What about resumes or cover letters that are badly written but end with something pristinely formal like "Attaching herewith my resume for your kind perusal" or some such!

kbpm said...

WJ- Nahiinnnnnnn. He is just unbearable.

Sands said...

And here, we get calls right about dinner time with someone wanting to sell me stuff and starting a conversation about how he is Indian and comes from the same state as me (grhhhh!)

dipali said...

Let me join you wherever you are hiding from these persistent callers.

maidinmalaysia said...

i hate it when someone cant spell harassment. only because i can.

Vanessa said...

Its funny when call-center employees, obviously in India try to talk in American accent. Sounds like Bacon dipped in Sambhar..... I have to say, "Dude! I am from India. Hold that accent!"

kbpm said...

Mim- heh heh. Spell check does not pick up loose/lose you see.
Vanessa- hmm.
Dipali- Not hiding too well, i am afraid!
csm- Wait Is that CSM?
AJ- You should ask them out.
asaaan- there there. "We are like this vonly"