Good Housekeeping

Have I mentioned that I absolutely suck at setting up a home? One major reason for this is my innate taste runs toward a minimalism that bothers other permanent and temporary residents. I like the walls bare. I like to sit on the floor, so I think couches are unnecessary. I hate the television so would rather not own one, if that were a possibility. If Kenny were not a social ant, who has a family, and guests (all of whom she loves) her house would have the following:

1. Mattress for sleeping
2. Refrigerator
3. Washing machine
4. Bookshelves
5. Boxes of books
6. Ten-piece stainless steel cookware set
7. Computer + Table + Chair
8. Spoons
9. Cupboard with clothes

Thats it probably. I LOVED this flat when we first got here. Bare white walls. Nice flooring. All thoroughly empty. Slowly, over the years, we have acquired couches, entertainment center, TV, several bookshelves, two beds, two cupboards, kitchen cabinets, another cabinet, end tables, dining table (huge ass one) with six chairs, center table, shoe rack, a DVD player (which works once in a while), and a gazillion toys. The niece and the monster daughter have contributed tons of art to the walls. Numerous photos and so on have been stuck here and there as decoration, including a particularly red pillayar thing that I got for being a judge once. The husband's constant whine requesting a huge Geetopadesha for the living room wall has so far been stalled, but I know its only a matter of time (I particularly dislike things in the house that are fat, big, or red, oh yeah, and I hate artificial flowers).

One day I declared to the husband, look, I am going to become a domestic goddess soon. He burst out in laughter. I bought a magazine (got a Mills & Book free with it, and read it quickly). It was unhelpful. I got more magazines. I took out a note-pad to jot down my thoughts. I got the Argos Hypercity catalogue as the nearest thing to IKEA for IDEAS. They all went nowhere. Meanwhile the husband has challenged me. He says its not in my DNA. Despite the fact that there is my mother's house (which is quite spectacularly organised, and clean beyond compare). I hate to turn down a challenge. So, I have, technically, at least in my mind, taken it up.

Currently though I am struggling with-
1. Lack of system for folding clothes and putting them away promptly
2. The losing battle against fine dust
3. Unidentified boxes of stuff (I suspect they are class notes of husband - I never took any notes, thankfully, err I make up for it now but thats all in my office)
4. Monster-related Lego, Toys, Jigsaws, Books
5. Wires - this stuff is horrid. Chargers. Connectors for: Phone to PC + Camera to PC + Videocam to PC + DVD player to TV + lots of other strange looking things I don't dare throw
6. Laminated photos (we have nearly fifty on the wall - don't ask - and probably fifty elsewhere)
7. Useless light fixtures and parts that have broken off them over the years
8. Tooth brushes belonging to the monster, who has a tooth brush fetish (in addition to a pink fetish)

I am going to devise a strategy, find my gloves and apron, enlist the monster, and go at it. Watch this space.